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♪ ♪
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(no voice)
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♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪
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♪ And I bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪
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♪ Oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪
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♪ On the night we kissed ♪
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♪ And I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪
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♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪
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♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪
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♪ And there ain't no nothing we
can't love each other through ♪
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♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪
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♪ Sha-la-la-la. ♪
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Hey, Andy and I
are going out for a walk.
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You want to come, Jen?
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Oh, no, thanks, Dad.
I've got this paper to write,
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and it's going kind of slow.
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Oh, maybe I could help.
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I don't think so, Dad.
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I see. You think that now
you're in high school
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your homework's getting
a little too complex
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for your old,
intellectually washed-up dad.
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(chuckles)
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Well, it's just that you go
completely overboard
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in these situations.
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It's like the time
when you tried to help me
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with that book report
on Huck Finn,
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and we had to write it on a raft
floating down the Mississippi.
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Well, what's so terrible
about a parent
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trying to get involved
with his children's education?
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After all, I help Andy
with his homework.
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I always redo it
after you leave.
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Jen, I'll tell you what.
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I'll only help you
if your paper's
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in an area of my expertise.
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All right, Dad.
I'm writing a paper
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for my introduction
to philosophy class
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on the existentialist
perspective
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of Søren Kierkegaard.
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Søren Kierkegaard?
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Sørie?
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Who's Kierkegaard?
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He was a Swedish philosopher,
Andy.
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He was a Danish
philosopher, Dad.
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T-Technically he was Danish.
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But he had an apartment
in Sweden.
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Lauren, Lauren, come on,
come on, let me take that.
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Alex, it's one bag.
I can carry it.
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Hey, listen, the woman I love
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is not gonna be lugging
around a heavy grocery bag.
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Yo, Alex!
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Sorry, sorry.
Forgot you were out there.
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ELYSE:
It's all right.
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I'm used to it. The minute
we walked into the market,
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I knew you two
were in your own world.
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Lauren, I still
can't believe it.
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After three months of going out,
you still seem to like Alex.
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Have you ever taken
a really good look at him?
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Oh, my God!
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You're right.
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Hey, hey.
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Of course she likes me.
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I'm cute, I'm intelligent,
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and I have unlimited
earning potential.
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I know that's
what attracted me to you.
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I think you guys
make a cute couple.
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I just never want
to go shopping with you again.
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- (phone rings)
- Oh, I've got it!
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Hello.
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Um, yeah. Yes.
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Hold on a second.
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- Uh, Lauren, it's for you.
- For me?
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I thought from the ring
it would be for me, but...
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Hello.
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Eric, what a surprise!
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How'd you get the number here?
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Oh, I see.
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Oh, I'm fine, fine.
How are you doing?
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Oh, that's great!
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Yeah, well, I don't know. Um...
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Yeah, I'll have
to think about it.
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Yeah, I will.
(chuckles)
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Good hearing from you, too.
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Bye-bye.
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That was Eric Matthews.
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Uh, Eric Matthews. Why does
that name sound familiar?
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He's the guy that I
went out with before I met you.
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Yeah, that's it.
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Well, he's coming in
from New York tomorrow night,
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and he wants to know
about dinner.
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Oh, well, geez, uh,
I'm busy tomorrow night.
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I think he meant me.
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Oh, of course. Oh, you!
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Oh, you-you should go.
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Are you sure
it wouldn't bother you?
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No! No, absolu...
Look, he's come all this way.
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You know, uh, I think
it would be a nice gesture.
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Alex, that's so sensitive
of you.
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I-I thought you'd be threatened
by something like this.
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Hey... What, are you kidding?
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Come on, you should know me
better than that.
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Now, let's just put the rest
of this stuff away, okay?
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We'll go in,
we'll have a nice dinner.
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Afterwards, we'll get married.
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Alex, sit down.
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I'll make you some tea.
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Oh, uh, no, listen.
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Uh, uh, I'm going to get going
'cause I don't want
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to be here when, uh...
when Eric gets here.
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Alex, you don't have to leave
just 'cause Eric's showing up.
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Well, I know.
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I know, but, uh, you two
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probably have a lot
of catching up to do.
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You know, I'd just be
in the way.
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So you go out
and have a nice dinner.
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You're n-not going to go out
like that, are you?
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You know, dressed up.
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Alex, this is just a sweater.
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I know. I know. It's just...
it's just such a fancy one.
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I mean...
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I mean, you're just going out
for dinner, right?
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You're not going to meet
the queen afterwards.
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Alex, if you're nervous
about this, I'll call it off.
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No, I-I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
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Okay, you sure?
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- Positive.
- All right.
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- (knocking)
- Okay.
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Eric.
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Lauren.
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Oh, you look terrific.
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Your hair's a little shorter.
I like it.
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Oh, thank you.
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You look terrific, too.
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Your hair's a little longer.
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Well, thanks.
Nice of you to notice.
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Mine's exactly the same.
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I'm sorry.
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Eric, I'd like you
to meet Alex Keaton.
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It's a pleasure meeting you,
Alex.
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Yeah, pleasure meeting you,
too, Eric.
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(Alex clears throat)
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You're a little early.
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I wasn't expecting you
for another hour.
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Oh, you know me.
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I'm always a little early.
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Can't help it.
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I think it's important
to be punctual.
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Don't have to tell me.
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I'm, uh... I'm...
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I'm here for a date next week.
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Why don't I call the restaurant
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and see if they can
take us earlier?
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- Good idea.
- Okay. I'll be right back.
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Right.
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(whistles, chuckles)
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So you and Lauren met
over at Leland.
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Uh, yeah.
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Yeah, that's right.
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She was, uh... she was
doing a psychology experiment
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on, uh, overachievers,
so I applied.
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I'm in the economics department
myself.
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My old stomping grounds.
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How's Professor Carpenter doing?
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Great. I had him for micro
this past semester.
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He's a tough old guy, isn't he?
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Ooh, you bet. I was, uh...
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I was lucky to squeeze
a B-plus out of him.
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I mean, I deserved more,
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but-but-but he's got
this crazy rule
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against giving A's.
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Really?
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He must have started that rule
after I left.
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He, uh... he-he gave you an A?
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A-plus.
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Well, well, he ma...
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he made up
for the low grade, actually.
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He, uh... he recommended me
for the Wilson scholarship.
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Oh, congratulations.
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I won that, too.
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Well, I-I, uh...
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I also won the Burke scholarship
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and the Harrison scholarship,
the Matthews scholarship.
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00:07:24,477 --> 00:07:27,378
I received all those
except the Matthews.
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00:07:27,513 --> 00:07:30,971
Oh, well, can't win them all.
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Especially not that one.
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It's named after me.
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Ripped By mstoll
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Did I mention
my miniature golf trophy?
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Look, uh, Alex...
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It's sort of pointless
for us to sit here
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comparing grades and awards.
191
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I mean, we might as well
just exchange résumés.
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00:08:02,748 --> 00:08:04,579
(chuckling)
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Right, right.
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00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:10,119
(Alex sniffs, sighs)
195
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,354
This is amazing.
196
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,795
This is incredible.
197
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I-I mean, Lauren-Lauren told me
you worked on Wall Street.
198
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I had no idea it was
at Dunn and Bradley.
199
00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:24,997
Dunn and Bradley.
200
00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:26,604
That-that's the most prestigious
banking investment firm
201
00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:27,763
in the world.
202
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Isn't it?
203
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:31,173
What is it like to work there?
204
00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:33,039
Oh, it's so magical.
205
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:34,510
It's hard to describe.
206
00:08:34,647 --> 00:08:37,241
You know that feeling you had
when you were a kid
207
00:08:37,383 --> 00:08:39,248
and your parents
would take you to the bank?
208
00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:42,377
You'd dream about getting naked
and leaping into the vault?
209
00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:45,582
Know it?
210
00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:48,592
I actually did it.
211
00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:49,717
The only downside is
212
00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:51,022
that there's not much time
213
00:08:51,163 --> 00:08:52,391
for a personal life.
214
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:55,092
And even with all the success
and all the money,
215
00:08:55,234 --> 00:08:57,361
when I get home
to my empty apartment,
216
00:08:57,503 --> 00:09:01,303
I feel like there's
something missing from my life.
217
00:09:04,076 --> 00:09:06,476
Maybe you need a dog.
218
00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:08,711
Okay, ready to go?
219
00:09:08,848 --> 00:09:10,008
- Yeah, okay.
- Okay.
220
00:09:10,149 --> 00:09:11,173
(chuckling):
Oh, I'm sorry.
221
00:09:11,317 --> 00:09:12,306
You meant you two.
222
00:09:12,451 --> 00:09:13,918
Okay, well, uh,
223
00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:16,578
I'll meet you outside
when you're ready.
224
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:18,747
I'm across the street
in the black Porsche.
225
00:09:21,427 --> 00:09:22,416
Nice meeting you.
226
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,360
Nice meeting you, Eric.
227
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:27,489
(whispering):
He's got a Porsche.
228
00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:30,130
Hey, do you guys have a minute?
229
00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:31,759
I need your help on something.
230
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:33,599
- Yeah. What's up?
- Well, I-I've been up in my room
231
00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:37,675
trying to figure out
what is attractive about me.
232
00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:41,177
So far, a normal evening.
233
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:43,782
Anyway, I've-I've come up
with a... with a partial list
234
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:45,679
of-of some of my good points,
235
00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:47,809
and, uh...
236
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:51,921
Now, here's where I need
your help.
237
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:54,356
Carrying the list?
238
00:09:54,493 --> 00:09:56,154
No, no, no, no,
I mean, uh, filling it in.
239
00:09:56,295 --> 00:09:57,990
Rounding it out. You know,
making sure I haven't...
240
00:09:58,130 --> 00:09:59,324
haven't forgotten anything.
241
00:09:59,465 --> 00:10:02,559
I, uh... I think it's fun
for the whole family.
242
00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:05,762
Wait a minute, Alex, you...
you have a list here
243
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:08,533
of your good points
and Eric's good points.
244
00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:11,108
Who's Eric?
245
00:10:11,243 --> 00:10:14,235
Uh, my imaginary friend.
246
00:10:16,682 --> 00:10:20,049
Uh, your imaginary friend
has a Porsche?
247
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:22,245
It's an imaginary Porsche.
248
00:10:22,388 --> 00:10:25,255
He also has a job
on Wall Street,
249
00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:27,154
an apartment in Manhattan,
250
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:30,057
and he went out
with Lauren for a year.
251
00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:31,390
Well, that's how we met.
252
00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:33,794
Uh... uh, Lauren introduced us
253
00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:37,266
at a... at a...
an imaginary, uh,
254
00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:40,861
real person, uh, get-together.
255
00:10:43,242 --> 00:10:45,233
Which group were you with?
256
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:53,312
All right, Eric is, uh...
Eric's Lauren's old boyfriend.
257
00:10:53,452 --> 00:10:54,885
He's back in town,
and they went out
258
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:55,988
for dinner tonight.
259
00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:57,350
(gasps)
260
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,651
You let them go?
261
00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:01,760
(gasps)
262
00:11:01,894 --> 00:11:03,293
I let them go.
263
00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:04,896
What's so amazing about that?
264
00:11:05,031 --> 00:11:07,499
Well, I just know
that I'd be very nervous
265
00:11:07,633 --> 00:11:10,693
if one of Nick's old girlfriends
came to visit him.
266
00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:13,202
We'd all be nervous, Mal.
267
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:14,931
It would mean
there had been a break-out
268
00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:17,065
at the women's detention center.
269
00:11:21,647 --> 00:11:24,138
Uh, did you meet, uh, Eric?
270
00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:25,614
Uh, briefly, briefly.
We, uh... we exchanged résumés.
271
00:11:25,751 --> 00:11:26,740
Ah.
272
00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:29,616
I guess a handshake
seemed too obvious.
273
00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:32,417
I'm telling you, Dad,
this guy is impressive.
274
00:11:32,558 --> 00:11:35,026
It's the first time I've ever
been in a room with someone
275
00:11:35,161 --> 00:11:38,130
that I didn't feel complete
intellectual superiority over.
276
00:11:38,264 --> 00:11:40,129
Thanks very much.
277
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:42,131
Mom, you know what I mean.
278
00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:45,396
I mean, this guy,
when you compare our résumés,
279
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:48,063
he tops me in every category.
280
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,072
Alex,
281
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:53,235
you have something
that Eric doesn't have.
282
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,404
Lauren's love.
283
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,846
That's not something
that can be put on a résumé.
284
00:11:57,983 --> 00:12:00,975
No, Dad,
he's got that down here.
285
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,326
I-I must be missing something.
286
00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:10,292
There-there must be
some good points that I have
287
00:12:10,429 --> 00:12:11,396
that Eric doesn't have.
288
00:12:11,530 --> 00:12:13,327
So that's why
I need your help, okay?
289
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:17,698
I-I-I want to know
what you like about Alex Keaton.
290
00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:23,541
Huh? Who want... who wants
to get the ball rolling?
291
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:25,667
- Uh...
- I...
292
00:12:25,811 --> 00:12:28,336
Well...
293
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:30,312
- Mal? Mally? Huh?
- Huh?
294
00:12:31,784 --> 00:12:34,218
I-I don't know.
It's so hard, Alex.
295
00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:36,480
Can I get back to you?
296
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:39,188
Come on, you know?
297
00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:40,724
This is real important
to me now.
298
00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:44,193
My-my whole relationship with
Lauren could be at stake here.
299
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:47,857
(sighs) All right,
just give me a minute.
300
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:51,500
Uh... you... (sighs)
301
00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:57,108
Um... uh...
302
00:12:57,243 --> 00:13:00,110
Forget it, Mal. I don't want you
to hurt yourself.
303
00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:04,449
I don't know, Dad.
I have to disagree with you.
304
00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:05,982
Kierkegaard felt
that all knowledge
305
00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:07,813
must be self-knowledge.
306
00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:10,012
I think you're wrong, Jen.
307
00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:13,614
He was also concerned with
the larger societal problems.
308
00:13:13,759 --> 00:13:16,319
Dad, you're missing the point
completely.
309
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:18,828
Oh, am I?
310
00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:21,899
Kierkegaard believed
that examining man's existence
311
00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:24,832
within a larger framework of a
societal historical dialectic
312
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:27,905
was an avoidance of subjective
knowledge so essential
313
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:31,168
to comprehending any type
of spiritual truth.
314
00:13:35,047 --> 00:13:37,379
Jennifer, go to your room.
315
00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:44,788
That's a great argument, Dad.
316
00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:47,222
What do you think Kierkegaard
would have said to that?
317
00:13:47,359 --> 00:13:50,795
Who cares?
He didn't have any kids.
318
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:54,598
STEVEN:
Alex.
319
00:13:54,733 --> 00:13:56,860
Hey, I thought you said you were
gonna turn in early tonight.
320
00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:58,230
Oh, yeah, I was, I was.
321
00:13:58,370 --> 00:14:00,361
Just, uh... just came down
to get a snack.
322
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,303
You seem a little distracted.
323
00:14:02,441 --> 00:14:04,068
Oh, no. No, no, I'm fine, fine.
324
00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:07,873
All right.
Enjoy your Brillo pad.
325
00:14:16,388 --> 00:14:17,685
Hello. Hi, Stacey.
326
00:14:17,823 --> 00:14:19,688
Yeah. Is Lauren back yet?
327
00:14:19,825 --> 00:14:22,692
No.
328
00:14:22,828 --> 00:14:26,320
Yeah, yes, I know.
I know she went out with Eric.
329
00:14:26,465 --> 00:14:30,128
Yes, I know he has a Porsche.
330
00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:33,204
No message. No... no message.
331
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:41,913
Hi. Yeah, Columbus...
Columbus Grill?
332
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,538
Um, yeah, is the Matthews party
still there?
333
00:14:44,683 --> 00:14:48,414
I see. They left two hours ago?
334
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,545
Yes, I know he drives a Porsche.
335
00:14:57,830 --> 00:14:59,525
(knocking)
336
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,466
(whispers):
Hey.
337
00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:10,609
Hey.
338
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:13,803
Lauren.
339
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:15,846
Sweetheart.
340
00:15:15,981 --> 00:15:18,506
Lauren.
341
00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:21,279
Hey, honey bear.
342
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:23,786
Sweetheart.
343
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,584
Hey, Lauren.
344
00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:29,324
(both scream)
345
00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:33,595
Alex, what are you doing here?
346
00:15:33,732 --> 00:15:36,565
What am I doing here?
What am I doing here?
347
00:15:36,702 --> 00:15:37,794
I live here, buddy.
348
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:38,869
No, you don't.
349
00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:41,234
No, I don't.
350
00:15:42,908 --> 00:15:45,934
But I live very nearby.
351
00:15:46,078 --> 00:15:47,773
What the hell
are you doing here?
352
00:15:47,913 --> 00:15:49,540
Look, Alex...
353
00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:54,219
I think I know what you're
thinking, and you're wrong.
354
00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:57,117
Oh, really, Eric?
Well, let me tell you something.
355
00:15:57,256 --> 00:16:00,521
I may not be one of your slick,
fast-talking, money-mongering,
356
00:16:00,659 --> 00:16:03,093
underhanded Dunn and Bradley
friends...
357
00:16:03,228 --> 00:16:06,755
although I hope to be one
one day...
358
00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:08,560
but I am not that gullible.
359
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:09,963
Alex, listen to me.
360
00:16:10,102 --> 00:16:12,434
On the way home
from dinner tonight,
361
00:16:12,571 --> 00:16:14,505
my car broke down
in the middle of nowhere.
362
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,767
We had to walk two miles
to a gas station,
363
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:19,173
get a tow truck,
and then get a cab back here.
364
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:21,871
By that time, it was after 1:00,
I didn't have a place to stay,
365
00:16:22,014 --> 00:16:23,982
so Lauren told me
I could sleep in her room.
366
00:16:24,116 --> 00:16:25,583
She's down the hall
in Michelle's room.
367
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:29,518
You expect me to believe
that your brand-new
368
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:33,284
$40,000 Porsche just
conveniently broke down tonight.
369
00:16:33,425 --> 00:16:36,292
Actually, it was closer
to $50,000.
370
00:16:36,428 --> 00:16:39,295
Well, that's a very tough story
to swallow, Eric.
371
00:16:39,431 --> 00:16:41,592
Well, that includes dealer
shipping and handling charges.
372
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:42,996
Look, I'm talking
about what happened
373
00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:44,500
with you and Lauren tonight.
374
00:16:44,636 --> 00:16:46,399
Now, believe it or not,
some things in life
375
00:16:46,538 --> 00:16:48,130
are more important
than money and finance charges.
376
00:16:48,273 --> 00:16:51,003
(chuckles)
You don't believe that.
377
00:16:51,143 --> 00:16:54,476
Well, uh, normally, I don't,
normally, I don't.
378
00:16:54,613 --> 00:16:57,081
But... but in this case, Eric,
there definitely is something
379
00:16:57,216 --> 00:16:58,843
that's more important to me
than money.
380
00:16:58,984 --> 00:17:01,953
Come on, Alex, nothing matters
more than money.
381
00:17:02,087 --> 00:17:03,418
I mean, let's be honest.
382
00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:05,682
That's what separates guys
like us from everybody else.
383
00:17:05,824 --> 00:17:07,655
Look, that's not the point.
384
00:17:07,793 --> 00:17:10,489
Come on, Alex, we've known it
since we were kids.
385
00:17:10,629 --> 00:17:12,620
Remember the first time
you saw a dollar sign?
386
00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:15,666
April 22, 1971.
387
00:17:18,237 --> 00:17:20,364
My first time, I was coming home
from kindergarten.
388
00:17:20,506 --> 00:17:22,906
I was with a couple
of my other friends.
389
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:25,670
We passed a bank,
and there it was in the window.
390
00:17:25,811 --> 00:17:28,439
- The other guys know
what it was? - No.
391
00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:30,480
They just thought
it was a big "S"
392
00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:32,345
with two vertical lines
through it.
393
00:17:32,484 --> 00:17:35,351
To me, it was a symbol of life.
394
00:17:35,487 --> 00:17:39,321
The other kids just went home
for milk and cookies.
395
00:17:39,458 --> 00:17:41,449
I knelt.
396
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:47,426
I don't deny it, okay?
I love money.
397
00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:50,399
But there is definitely
something in my life
398
00:17:50,536 --> 00:17:52,527
that I love more... Lauren.
399
00:17:52,671 --> 00:17:56,072
All right, Alex,
I'll be honest with you.
400
00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:58,904
I did come back here
wondering if Lauren and I
401
00:17:59,044 --> 00:18:00,909
could start
seeing each other again.
402
00:18:01,046 --> 00:18:02,536
But from the minute
I picked her up,
403
00:18:02,681 --> 00:18:04,171
all she did was talk about you.
404
00:18:05,484 --> 00:18:07,714
I could see
she was really in love.
405
00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:09,718
So I decided just to have
a good dinner,
406
00:18:09,855 --> 00:18:13,450
enjoy driving my new car,
get a good night's sleep.
407
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,583
Instead, dinner was lousy
and overpriced,
408
00:18:15,727 --> 00:18:18,457
my car's in the shop,
it's 2:07 in the morning,
409
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:20,963
and I'm wide awake.
410
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:24,160
What a bust this trip was.
411
00:18:24,303 --> 00:18:26,863
I just hope I can write it off.
412
00:18:30,509 --> 00:18:32,033
You'll be able to write it off.
413
00:18:32,177 --> 00:18:34,407
After all,
we talked about business, right?
414
00:18:34,546 --> 00:18:36,446
You could tell them
it was, uh...
415
00:18:36,582 --> 00:18:39,142
it was a recruiting session
for Dunn and Bradley.
416
00:18:48,427 --> 00:18:50,327
Hi, honey.
417
00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:53,596
What is this?
418
00:18:53,732 --> 00:18:56,929
Some overachiever pajama party?
419
00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:59,469
I'm sorry, honey.
Did we wake you?
420
00:18:59,605 --> 00:19:01,869
Alex, what are you doing here?
421
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:04,874
Oh, listen, uh,
I talked to Eric.
422
00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:06,409
He explained everything.
423
00:19:06,545 --> 00:19:07,842
Don't worry.
424
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,607
What is there to explain?
425
00:19:09,748 --> 00:19:12,774
Why don't I just, uh,
step out for a minute?
426
00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:14,044
Hey, hey, Lauren, listen,
427
00:19:14,186 --> 00:19:15,585
I-I wasn't gonna
come over here.
428
00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:17,780
It's just that I kept calling,
and you weren't home.
429
00:19:17,923 --> 00:19:19,447
And-and the restaurant
said you left.
430
00:19:19,591 --> 00:19:21,218
What?
You called the restaurant?
431
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:23,123
Alex, why?
Don't you trust me?
432
00:19:23,262 --> 00:19:25,958
Of course I trust you.
433
00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:27,690
You got a funny way
of showing it.
434
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:29,198
Hey, come on, Lauren!
Any other guy...
435
00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:31,165
Alex, I don't care
about any other guy.
436
00:19:31,303 --> 00:19:32,998
I care about you.
437
00:19:33,138 --> 00:19:34,867
And our relationship.
And trust!
438
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,770
You know,
I can't believe you did this.
439
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,740
I'm really mad at you.
440
00:19:38,877 --> 00:19:40,504
- (door slams)
- Lauren.
441
00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:42,637
Lauren.
442
00:19:47,052 --> 00:19:48,349
Hey, Dad.
443
00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:51,422
Where were you, Alex?
It's 3:00.
444
00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:53,889
Oh, uh, just,
I was over at Lauren's.
445
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,584
What are you doing up?
446
00:19:55,727 --> 00:19:58,093
Oh, just a little reading.
447
00:19:58,230 --> 00:20:00,960
Existentialism for Dads.
448
00:20:01,099 --> 00:20:03,795
Yeah.
449
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:06,564
There's one thing I can say
for Kierkegaard...
450
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:10,664
no matter how depressed you are,
he's more depressed.
451
00:20:10,809 --> 00:20:15,473
In a strange way,
it's sort of a pick-me-up.
452
00:20:15,614 --> 00:20:18,515
- Mind if I borrow
this book, Dad? - Sure, sure.
453
00:20:18,650 --> 00:20:20,277
I recommend chapter eight:
454
00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:22,512
"Existence is meaningless
and life is absurd,
455
00:20:22,654 --> 00:20:26,021
so wipe that smile
off your face."
456
00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:28,490
What a rotten night, Dad.
457
00:20:28,627 --> 00:20:31,391
I-I was... I was going crazy
worrying about Lauren and Eric,
458
00:20:31,530 --> 00:20:33,760
so I went over there
to see what was happening.
459
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:35,924
What was happening?
460
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:38,161
Nothing... until I got there.
461
00:20:38,303 --> 00:20:41,204
And-and, uh, now Lauren
thinks I don't trust her.
462
00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:45,367
I doubt she'll ever talk
to me again.
463
00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:47,501
Look, Alex,
there are a lot of...
464
00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:50,171
(knocking)
465
00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:52,340
Let me just leave you
with a thought
466
00:20:52,484 --> 00:20:54,349
from the immortal Kierkegaard:
467
00:20:54,486 --> 00:20:57,819
(Danish accent):
"Women... can't live with them,
468
00:20:57,956 --> 00:20:59,856
can't live without them."
469
00:21:05,731 --> 00:21:07,961
- Hi.
- Hi.
470
00:21:10,736 --> 00:21:12,294
Lauren, I'm sorry.
471
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:13,301
I'm really sorry.
472
00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:14,962
Look, it's not all your fault.
473
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:16,836
I-I should have been more aware.
474
00:21:16,975 --> 00:21:19,637
I knew that even though you
were trying to act gracefully,
475
00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:21,302
deep down
it really bothered you.
476
00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:22,435
That's the thing.
477
00:21:22,581 --> 00:21:24,572
I knew that you would think
478
00:21:24,716 --> 00:21:28,174
that deep down it...
it would bother me,
479
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:31,084
so... so I wanted
to go even deeper
480
00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:33,453
and prove that you were wrong.
481
00:21:33,592 --> 00:21:37,858
It just so happens that, uh,
I don't go that deep.
482
00:21:38,997 --> 00:21:41,158
You go plenty deep, Alex.
483
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:43,894
Too deep sometimes...
you overanalyze everything.
484
00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:46,436
I want you to have the best
of everything, you know?
485
00:21:46,571 --> 00:21:47,936
And then, when I met Eric,
486
00:21:48,073 --> 00:21:51,042
I just couldn't help but think
that maybe he was the best.
487
00:21:51,176 --> 00:21:52,734
Alex, I don't love Eric.
488
00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:54,971
Why not? I do.
489
00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:02,177
The point I'm trying to make
is that I love you,
490
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:04,289
and you're just gonna have
to learn to accept that.
491
00:22:04,423 --> 00:22:06,516
Maybe it might be a little
easier for me to accept that
492
00:22:06,658 --> 00:22:08,319
if-if I knew why you love me.
493
00:22:08,460 --> 00:22:10,325
What do you mean,
why do I love you?
494
00:22:10,462 --> 00:22:12,760
Well, in order for a guy like me
to feel secure,
495
00:22:12,898 --> 00:22:15,958
I-I have to know what it is
that you love about Alex Keaton.
496
00:22:16,101 --> 00:22:17,329
It's a lot of things.
497
00:22:17,469 --> 00:22:18,993
I can't just sit here
and name them.
498
00:22:19,137 --> 00:22:21,605
Why not?
499
00:22:22,774 --> 00:22:24,742
Because it just doesn't work
that way.
500
00:22:24,876 --> 00:22:26,867
Can you tell me why you love me?
501
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:29,105
You're smart, you're beautiful,
you're warm, you're wise,
502
00:22:29,247 --> 00:22:30,544
you're witty, you're sensitive,
503
00:22:30,682 --> 00:22:32,149
you're kind to children
and old people,
504
00:22:32,284 --> 00:22:34,275
you care about what's going on
in the world.
505
00:22:34,419 --> 00:22:37,479
Boy, you're really good at this.
506
00:22:37,622 --> 00:22:39,556
Yeah, better than you.
I'm...
507
00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:41,090
At least you could give me
508
00:22:41,226 --> 00:22:43,091
a token "you're a nice guy"
or something.
509
00:22:43,228 --> 00:22:46,026
All right, Alex,
you want to know why I love you?
510
00:22:46,164 --> 00:22:47,290
Yeah.
511
00:22:47,432 --> 00:22:48,865
Because of
"The Banana Boat Song."
512
00:22:51,503 --> 00:22:53,801
"The Banana Boat Song"?
513
00:22:53,939 --> 00:22:55,998
(chuckles)
Yes. We were at one of those
514
00:22:56,141 --> 00:22:57,904
economic department symposiums
you drag me to,
515
00:22:58,043 --> 00:23:00,273
and some guy was droning on
for hours and hours
516
00:23:00,412 --> 00:23:02,312
about the deficit
or the surplus or something.
517
00:23:02,447 --> 00:23:04,278
I don't know.
It was excruciatingly boring.
518
00:23:06,084 --> 00:23:07,312
Then, suddenly, when I thought
519
00:23:07,452 --> 00:23:08,942
I just couldn't take it
for another minute,
520
00:23:09,087 --> 00:23:12,284
you... you sang to me
"The Banana Boat Song."
521
00:23:12,424 --> 00:23:13,322
(Alex chuckles)
522
00:23:13,458 --> 00:23:16,586
♪ Day-o, Day-ay-ay-o ♪
523
00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:20,687
♪ Daylight come
and me want to go home. ♪
524
00:23:20,832 --> 00:23:23,699
That's why I love you.
525
00:23:23,835 --> 00:23:26,269
You ever heard me do "Misty"?
526
00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:31,402
Alex, it was the fact that in
the middle of this stuffy affair
527
00:23:31,543 --> 00:23:32,771
with all your professors around,
528
00:23:32,911 --> 00:23:34,708
you sang me
"The Banana Boat Song."
529
00:23:34,846 --> 00:23:37,576
It didn't make any sense.
It was a complete contradiction.
530
00:23:37,716 --> 00:23:39,980
It's what makes you
uniquely you.
531
00:23:40,118 --> 00:23:42,484
All right. All right.
532
00:23:42,621 --> 00:23:44,680
You can't come up
with anything concrete...
533
00:23:46,792 --> 00:23:48,453
...that'll have to do.
534
00:23:48,593 --> 00:23:50,458
Alex, this isn't something
you have to define.
535
00:23:50,595 --> 00:23:52,153
You don't have to clarify.
536
00:23:52,297 --> 00:23:54,629
It just is.
And it's wonderful!
537
00:23:54,766 --> 00:23:56,996
(laughs) Sure, I could sit
around here all night
538
00:23:57,135 --> 00:23:59,763
and rattle off great things
about you.
539
00:23:59,905 --> 00:24:02,373
(both chuckle)
540
00:24:02,507 --> 00:24:04,372
I got nowhere to go.
541
00:24:34,606 --> 00:24:36,403
MAN:
Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.
542
00:24:36,541 --> 00:24:37,565
(Ubu barks)
543
00:24:39,500 --> 00:24:47,500
Ripped By mstoll